From the time my dad left to just before my sister was born, things are very blurred. When I say things, I mean life at home with my mother. I really don’t remember much about day to day living at all. The only events I seem to remember are the ones I found upsetting.
I definitely went through a stage of being challenging, in terms of my behaviour. I missed my dad and was angry with my mum; angry because she hadn’t woken me up to say goodbye to him. On one occasion, I remember some unfortunate babysitter chasing me around a car park because I refused to go in when I had been called. Why I did this, I have no idea – attention maybe.
My final memory before my sister was born was of my mother sitting in a chair and me walking up to her to say something. She turned around and her face was white. I mean white! She screamed at me and, pointing to her face, told me angrily that I done this to her because of my bad behaviour. She told me I had turned her face white. I was frozen with fear and then became hysterical. I touched her face, but nothing came off. She then said if I promised to be good, it would go away. I promised and promised I would be good. She went into the bathroom and when she came out, magically, her face was normal again. Years later, I realised what she had done. I was six years old.
Written by ‘Survivor-uncensored’