‘Apparently, I should have known…’

After the ‘broken promise’ incident, my relationship with my step-father and mother went from bad to worse.  I had clearly pissed them off in a really big way and, even at eight years old, I began to realise I was in a dangerous situation at home; dangerous in terms of a) knowing my mother wouldn’t protect me or believe me  b) knowing my step-father would lie about something he had done.

The next memory I have is when I was nine years old.  It was a hot summers day and I’d returned home from school to find my little sister (who was around 2yrs old) wandering around the house on her own;  my step-father was pissed in the upstairs bedroom and my mother was no-where to be seen.  A short time later, my best friend Billy knocked on the door and asked me to play outside;  I really didn’t want to be in the house alone with my step-father, so  I asked his permission to play outside and he said yes, albeit in a drunken manner.   I remember looking back at the house, seeing my little sister standing at the window on her own and feeling ‘so’ guilty I had left her…

It wasn’t long before I heard him shout my name in anger from the door of the house.  My mother had arrived home and was furious that my sister had been left alone in the house.  I tried to defend myself by telling her and reminding him that I had asked if I could go out and he had told me I could.  My step-father then shouted that I should have known not to go outside; he then hit me so hard across the face, he cut the inside of my mouth.

Written by ‘Survivor-uncensored’

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