I have an issue with eating. I don’t have an ‘eating disorder’, but equally I don’t have a very easy relationship with food. Mmmmm: even I’m now thinking that what I’ve said is a little contradictory. Anyway…when I was a child and not feeling in control, I would food restrict. I would feel the need to prove to myself that I was strong and in control of my mind and body, so would make myself feel hunger and work through the pain that caused. At least it was me inflicting the pain and not my step-father or mother. Also, the pain of being hungry, physical pain to be precise, was a good distraction from the emotional pain I felt.
Even though I’m an adult now and my life is good, its still a hard habit to break. I’m working with a fantastic lady called ‘Doris’ who is helping me to unpick my thoughts and emotions around food. This is probably one of my hardest battles yet, but I have two children and I have to do this for them as well as me.
Written by ‘Survivor-Uncensored’